Do you believe people can change? I’ve always struggled with making lasting changes in my life. Sometimes I feel like I was born with a brain that is hard-wired with traits, habits, and behaviors that can’t be re-programmed. It’s tempting to live on autopilot – doing things the way we’ve always done them. We might get inspired and change our methods for a while, but it’s easy to revert to old habits. Change can look like a mountain that just won’t move.
A few years ago, I felt like I needed a major change. With my youngest son headed to kindergarten, I considered going back to work. I felt like my work at home wasn’t very significant. The kids would go off to school and I would spend my time trying to put the house back together. Every day was the same – put the dishes back in the cabinets, put the toys back in the bins, put the clothes back in the closets, put the sheets back on the beds. I felt like my life was a song stuck on “Repeat.”
The Disconnect
I had been a stay-at-home mom for years and enjoyed the freedom and flexibility it afforded me. So why did I suddenly feel like it wasn’t enough? When I chose to stay at home, I did so because I wanted to spend my days taking care of my family and myself. (Cooking healthy meals, exercising/playing outside, keeping a clean & tidy home, reading/writing/other hobbies.) But somehow I didn’t seem to be very good at it anymore. Author Brendon Burchard says, “One of the worst feelings in the world is to be incredibly busy but feel that you’re not making any progress.” That’s exactly how I felt about my work as a homemaker. I spent so much time dealing with the clutter in our house; I couldn’t focus on anything meaningful. I wanted to care for my people, but I was too busy caring for our possessions. I was losing sight of my purpose because it was hidden under all our stuff.
The Turning Point
Then one day, I watched a documentary about World War II. The narrator was explaining how Nazi soldiers controlled prisoners in concentration camps. The Nazis forced the prisoners to do manual labor all day long. Obviously, this was physically exhausting. But the part of the story that struck me was this: the laborers were forced to move heavy rocks from one location to another. The next day, they would move the same rocks back to their original location. This went on endlessly, which became mentally debilitating as well. This type of labor was specifically designed to make the prisoners feel hopeless.
Now, please don’t think I’m comparing my comfortable suburban life to a labor camp in Nazi Germany. Clearly, these experiences couldn’t be more different. But I saw a correlation between the rocks in this story and the clutter in my home. If I spend my days moving things here and there around my house, of course I’ll feel insignificant! When my work starts to lose its purpose, I will start to lose my hope.
As a Christian, my primary purpose is to honor the Lord with my work. If I stop serving my family so I can spend more time managing our material possessions, that isn’t honoring to the Lord. The Bible says: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” (Colossians 3:23, ESV) When the clutter in my home was closing in on me, I was paralyzed by anxiety. I wasn’t working heartily for the Lord. I needed to remove hundreds of items in order to eliminate hundreds of distractions and rediscover the purpose of my work: to honor God by caring for my family.
The Process
When my oldest son was born, he was 20 inches long. Now he’s five feet tall. He’s growing every day, but the change is so small, I can’t see it as it happens. I can only see that he has changed dramatically since he was born 11 years ago. The same is true of how minimizing has changed our home. I’ve reduced the number of items in our house gradually over the past few years. The change in our home wasn’t obvious as it was happening, but now I look around and see a huge difference in my environment. Instead of inducing stress, my surroundings give me peace and joy. For a practical guide on how I decluttered step by step, click here.
Lasting Change
I’ve often heard seasoned minimalists say that practicing minimalism leads to other changes in many areas of life. Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, would call it a “keystone habit.” According to Duhigg, keystone habits offer “small wins.” He says, “Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.” I can see this concept at work in my life. I had always doubted that lasting change was possible for me. Now I know it is achievable. By decluttering my home and embracing a minimalist lifestyle, I’ve proven I can make a significant and permanent change in my life. Now I understand the path to lasting change. It doesn’t happen overnight! I started a project that turned into an everyday habit that turned into a new lifestyle.
I won’t ever go back to living in a cluttered house. I imagine this is how people feel after losing a lot of weight. (In my case, the weight came off my house rather than my body!) I have more time and energy to focus on what matters most: caring for my family. A few years ago, I was stuck in a rut, and minimalism helped get me out. Today, I’m looking for other “ruts” in my life – areas where I’m running on autopilot instead of living intentionally. I’ve already found a few! God is still working on me, and I believe more changes are coming my way.
What lasting change have you made? What change do you desire to make? What’s one small step you could take toward it today?
Excellent advice
I have to keep preaching it to myself!